Breaking Up Is Hard To Do . . .

. . . but if "you've realized it's not you, it's her. So it's time to end it," says a cold-blooded Urban Daddy, which offers five spots to let them down gently.

For example, they've highlighted Uptown's low-key Tank Noodles:

"With all the glamour of your average Greyhound station, this corner restaurant is great if you're afraid there might be a scene: bright, bustling and with large tables to keep you and your soon-to-be ex literally at arm's length. Bonus: the non-native English speaking clientele may not be familiar with some of the more choice words that will be thrown your way."

Ooooooh, that's so harsh!

Jessica Simpson Loves Fried Chicken

On Tuesday, I got the scoop that Michael Jordan had lunch at Market.

Today's famous lunch bunchers were pop star Jessica Simpson "and her posse," who showed up at Table Fifty-Two when it was not even open, according to an awesome Ultimate Insider:

"My girl at Table 52 just told me that the staff was told last minute today that Jessica Simpson was coming in for lunch (they weren't even open for lunch yet) with her posse. She wanted fried chicken and they don't even have it on the menu today! LOL. Sous chefs and all were running into work early to get the food ready. Now Kirstie Alley is there filming her reality show."

Kirstie Alley and Jessica Simpson in the same day?! Wow!

UPDATE: Apparently Table Fifty-Two owner/chef Art Smith was also excited because he wrote on his Facebook page later in the day:

"Wow, the eve before South Beach, and Jessica Simpson, calls me for lunch! She's gorgeous!!!!!!!! I am now entertaining Kristie Alley and posse, they are here shooting her new show for A and E. Lookout for my cameo!"