One of my wackiest 312DD fans, who goes by the handle of The Phantom Diner, sent me his Top 10 List—David Letterman style—of possibly the grossest holiday cupcake flavors EVER.
This guy knows his way around Chicago's restaurant scene, but he has a serious bone to pick when it comes to cupcakes. He HATES them, so for everyone else annoyed with the over-the-top cupcake trend of 2009, this list is for you:
10. Burnt Christmas tree topped with melted candy cane.
9. Roasted Partridge covered in truffled Pear Tree sap.
8. Leftover Thanksgiving turkey sprinkled with moldy cranberries and cracked road salt.
7. Eggnog-infused French Hen, bathed in chocolate and dusted with cinnamon.
6. Granny’s homemade gingerbread with a crust of frozen carrot, topped with a ribbon of snow and ice.
5. The "almost" white cupcake: yellow snow covered in gooey marshmallow.
4. Grilled reindeer tongue touched with a delicate wisp of the Ghost of Christmas past.
3. Cookie medley mash drizzled with spoiled milk reduction sauce.
2. Reindeer shit on a shingle.
And the number one holiday cupcake flavor . . .
1. Tender elf loins laced with crispy Santa belly-button lint!
Someone is twisted!
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