Monday, May 2, 2011

Worst Pickup Line Ever: 'I Got A Groupon'

Photo via

I'm all about a great dining deal, and I'm sure you are too.

But this story right here is not the business.

So guy meets girl at house party. Girl is somewhat interested in guy, but appropriately hesitant because he's aggressively pursuing her.

Here's her story:

I was minding my own business, fixing my drink when a guy walks up and introduces himself to me. We go back and forth with the how do you know the hostess? Where are you from? Where do you live? Cubs or Sox? Etc.

Then this happened:

Him: We should hang out sometime.

Me: Sure, where do you hang out?

Him: Public House.

Me: Oooh. Maybe not.

Him: Where do you hang out?

Me: I typically try and stay out of sports bars and clubs. I prefer good food and cocktails.

Him: We should go to dinner sometime.

Me: Yeah, maybe.

Him: Wait, what do you mean maybe?

Me: Maybe.

Him: Well, here is an idea, why don't we go to dinner at Carmichael's? And I'll tell you why... I got a Groupon. Two actually. I paid $50 for $120 (worth of food).

This is where I excused myself and holed up in the bathroom even though four people were in line behind me pounding on the door to get in.

Holy smokes. Guys, please do not EVER do this with a girl you just met!


Feisty said...

This is so true!

What guys need to do is take out a large bill (preferably a C-note) and set it on fire in front of her.

Then laugh while it burns to show her just how much you don't give a fuck about money!

312 Dining Diva said...

A little extreme, eh?!

Anonymous said...

It isn’t about burning $$$. It is about tact and class.

Anonymous said...

It is like going up to a woman and telling her she looks like a hundred bucks , but your only willing to pay forty, women don't care how you pay, if they like you often enough they will pay.

Anonymous said...

So the girl was worth $100, but the offer on the table was $120? Sounds like a good deal.

Robyn (aka Food Girl) said...

I can actually top this! I was on the date and the guy said "to make this dinner even better I have a gift certificate". First date. Hotel restaurant. Nice guy, not a good impression.

Anonymous said...

Moral of the story: if you are in aggressive pursuit of a woman, don't entice her with a groupon first date. More importantly, don't aggressively pursue a woman at all because that is the best way to put her in the driver seat; and to succeed at maintaining her attention you are now going to have to buy it, and buy it at top dollar.