Pass the Turkey to the Left Hand Side . . .

Five talented chefs. Five amazing Thanksgiving feasts—for those who love to get down when someone else is cooking.

If you're not getting a good ol' fashioned home-cooked meal this year, don't worry. 312DD's got you covered:

aja chef Josh Linton's hooking up a sumptuous, multi-course menu of all-Asian fare that's meant to share. Instead of traditional turkey, get ready for Chinese roast duck and "red cooked" smoked duroc pork with ginger and garlic. Wild mushroom fried rice with black truffle replaces the usual stuffing, and they've swapped the pumpkin pie for a chocolate hot pot of autumn cakes and cookies. Reservations recommended; 11am-9pm. $55 per person.

Philip Foss of Lockwood should make you smile for the unlimited champagne alone. An all-American buffet includes a carving station of maple honey molasses roasted turkey breast and mustard-glazed and clove-studded country ham; butternut squash ravioli; housemade biscuits; pan-roasted Alaskan halibut; and sweet potato marshmallow gratin. The regular menu will also be offered. 11am-5pm buffet; regular menu 5pm-close. Adults, $55; seniors (older than 65), $45; children (under 12), $25. Reservations required.

Expect a Southern-inspired menu over at Andersonville eatery Big Jones, whose kitchen is overseen by owner/chef Paul Fehribach. He's cooking up a five-course meal with Turducken (turkey stuffed with a boneless chicken that's stuffed with a boneless duck), wild striped bass, New Orleans-style crab cakes, fried green tomatoes and Red Velvet cake. Reservations highly recommended. 11am-8pm. $45.

Mercat a la Planxa's on a serious high this week fresh from its Next Iron Chef win for Jose Garces. Seats are filling up fast for the Spanish-focused, four-course feast created by chef de cuisine Michael Fiorello. Highlights include Serrano ham and fig salad; smoke-roasted turkey with sherry pan gravy and cranberry-orange compote; and chocolate croquettes with banana marshmallows, rosemary caramel and Arbequina olive oil. 11am-7pm. $65 per person. Reservations required.

Caterer/chef Jorgina Pereira spices up traditional Thanksgiving fare with Brazilian flair at Sinhà's. It's buffet style, and you can work all that stuffing and pie off on the dance floor to Latin, Samba and salsa before and after you eat. Three seats: 2, 3:30 and 5:30pm. Reservations required. $30 and BYOB!

Patrick Swayze Tribute at The Tasting Room

Not sure if Patrick Swayze was a big wine fan, but someone over at The Tasting Room is certainly a fan of his because they've dedicated a series of flights to the late legendary screen star's most memorable movies.

Embrace your eccentric side with the To Wong Foo white wine flight (2000 Dom Perignon, Epernay Champagne, Ruinart "Rose" Reims, Champagne and Serveau Fils ‘Blanc de Blancs,’) for $26, head for Spanish reds with Red Dawn (2005 Comenge Tempranillo, Ribera del Duero, Spain; 2005 Lanzaga Tempranillo, Rioja, Spain; and 2007 Pazo de Arribi Mencia, Bierzo, Spain) for $19; or indulge in a number of additional red wine flights Next of Kin ($25), Road House ($30), Point Break ($22), The Outsiders ($16) and the Donnie Darko ($14).

These picks sound like they have legs to me!

Say Hello to the Next Iron Chef!

"Next Iron Chef" winner Jose Garces. (Photo: Mercat a la Planxa)


Chicago-born-and-raised Jose Garces achieved "culinary immortality" Sunday as he was named the second-ever Next Iron Chef!

The executive chef/owner of Mercat a la Planxa pulled a victory over New York pastry chef Jehangir Mehta.

Their final challenge was to work with the secret ingredient of "ribs and racks" to produce a five-course feast exemplifying the ethnic melting pot of American cuisine. They worked with the likes of Baby Back short ribs, beef spare ribs, buffalo ribs and pork ribs, but Garces's approach of connecting Chicago's rich ethnic heritage to his dishes won over the judges. Garces told 312DD exclusively he was inspired by The Berghoff for a German-focused dish as well as Mexican neighborhoods on the Northwest Side and in Pilsen.

Highlights of his menu included a pizza topped with slow-cooked beef short ribs and balsamic bacon marmalade; slow-braised pork spareribs cooked "carnita" style; and a tribute to the South Side's soul food restaurants with baby back ribs drizzled with a spicy barbecue sauce, and served over mustard greens and bacon-infused grits.

Said an elated Garces upon winning: "It's amazing to be known, to be, the Iron Chef. ... This means everything. It puts me on a different level than most other chefs to be an Iron Chef. They're idols. They're gods. People really look up to the Iron Chefs and I'm really looking forward to taking my place alongside the others."

Here's GrubStreet's brief recap of the show and interview with Next Iron Chef Garces at what turned out to be a victory viewing party at his Philly-based restaurant Distrito.

Congrats, Jose!

NYC Restaurant Owner Snaps!

Times are tough in the restaurant biz, and while we understand restaurateurs need to think outside the box to get people in seats, this one right here takes the (*&%$#@#$%^?! cake:

Vadim Ponorovsky, the owner of Paradou in New York's famed Meatpacking District, fired off a "team-building" email to employees that was so full of expletives it made even us blush.

Here's a sample:

"How many times do we have to tell you how important it is that you collect emails. Everytime (sic) we have a slow night and you make no money and you sit there bitching about how you make no money, remember its (sic) because youre (sic) f**king lazy motherf**kers. YOU SHOULD ALL BE FIRED IMMEDIATELY!!!!! ALL OF YOU, INCLUDING THE HOSTS!!!!"

Oh, honey, it gets much worse! When one of the employees sent his crazy-ass email to Gawker.com, he decided to turn his anger on the New York media outlet to take out further frustrations on editors.

Word to bar and restaurant owners, if you want customers, this is not how you get them!

The Next Iron Chef?!

Jose Garces of Mercat a la Planxa (Photo: Mercat a la Planxa)


We've got our fingers crossed tightly for Philly-based chef Jose Garces—who's also behind the Blackstone Hotel's hot Spanish property Mercat a la Planxa—to pull a victory over New York pastry chef Jehangir Mehta to become the Next Iron Chef.

The finals go down 9pm Sunday on Food Network, and you bet we'll be watching (even though the Bears will take down play the Philly Eagles at the same time).

312DD had the chance to hang out with Garces at Mercat a la Planxa earlier this week during the first-ever Olive Oil from Spain tasting where he created six dishes (and a cocktail!) with three unique varietals.

As the master of Latin cuisine, it's no surprise that Garces uses his Chicago trips to check out the competition around town. He usually makes his way to family-owned restaurants in Pilsen, but on this trip, he checked out Paul Kahan's much talked about Big Star in Wicker Park.

No word yet on how they measured up . . .

Bright Lights, Tasty Bites at Mag Mile Fest

For Chicago, the official start of the holiday shopping season happens once the first float makes its way down the street for the Magnificent Mile Lights Festival.

With weather sunny and in the mid-50s on Saturday, those checking out the festivities will catch a lucky break. Get excited also about the newest component of the festival, the culinary pavilion featuring some of the area's most popular restaurants. From 11am to 4pm on the hour, five executive chefs will demo signature bites, and the first 100 guests will get a sample.

Indulge in dishes from Cliff Ostrowski (China Grill), who's set to prepare tempura sashimi with hot mustard champagne sauce at 11am. Tavern on Rush chef John Gatsos makes a classic Day After Thanksgiving sandwich at noon. At 1pm, you'll find The Saloon Steakhouse's James Day getting the crowd all worked up over his veal Involtini with chestnut and Applewood bacon stuffing and cranberry demi glace. Scott Walton of Markethouse whips up butterscotch bread pudding at 2pm. And the Signature Room's Patrick Sheerin will make roasted squash soup at 3pm.

The culinary festival goes down at the foot of the Hancock Building on Delaware Street. It's also free!

'Tis the season to get out and about all weekend long . . .

THURSDAY

Bistro 110 celebrates the release of the new Beaujolais with an after-work tasting event. You'll get to sample six wines paired with Charcuterie, cheese and additional light bites. 6-8:30pm. $25.

The Last Call For Fall event benefits the Auxiliary Board of Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Young professionals will be mingling, drinking and eating for a good cause at District Bar. Get tix here. 6:30-9:30pm. $35 in advance; $40 at door.

November is Movember, which raises money for men's health awareness, specifically prostate and testicular cancer. You'll get to bid on hot bachelorettes and bachelors tonight at Basil Leaf Café, plus there's a raffle. Event includes appetizers and a cash bar. 8pm-2am. $20.

If you're looking to get into something completely different tonight, head to The Silver Room for a unique spoken-word set. Twenty random people will be selected to tell their stories. 8-10pm. $5 donation.

This is just way too much machismo in one night. Brew & View's doing a triple threat movie-a-thon: The Hangover, Inglorious Basterds and Pulp Fiction. You'll also get $3 drafts of MGD, High Life and Miller Lite. Starts at 6:30pm. $5.


Juicy Wine Co. owner Rodney Alex (at top) hosts "The Breakfast Club" every Saturday.(Photo: Rodney Alex)


FRIDAY

Through Sunday, mention Week To Give Back at The Drawing Room for special deals. Ten bucks from your meal will be donated to the LUNGevity Foundation, plus you'll also receive a special dessert flight for the table. Now, that's sweet!

SATURDAY

If you've got a big group and you're hungry after the Lights Fest, head over to Osteria Via Stato for a special family-style meal. For $38.95 per person ($19 for kids), get appetizers, two pasta dishes, a main course and side dishes. The Italian Dinner Party antipasti is $19.95 per person ($10 for kids), and add a pasta dish to your Italian Dinner Party antipasti for $24.95 per person ($12 children).

Juicy Wine Co. continues its weekly Breakfast Club with DJ LA*Jesus spinning classic 1980s hits. They're also hooking up late-night munchies like the Dirty Bird Bubble Bath brunch combo of fried chicken and waffles paired with champagne; and Swan Creek soft scrambled eggs with shaved summer truffles paired with Benton's smoked country bacon. OMG, soooo yummy! 11pm-2am. No cover.

SUNDAY

New Lincoln Square eatery LM Le Restaurant puts the smack down with a French-focused brunch of a la carte items like banana- and pecan-topped buttermilk pancakes; the signature LM omelet with Camembert cheese, caramelized shallots and spinach; and brioche French toast with roasted pears and crème chantilly. Each guest also gets a complimentary croissant. 9am-2pm Saturday and Sunday.

And if you love chili, you don't want to miss Moonshine's first-ever Warm Up & Bear Down Chili Cook-Off. Sixteen contestants, both pro and amateurs, will compete for a grand prize of $1,000 in cold hard cash. Confirmed participants include Moonshine, Luxbar, Socca, Division Street Ale House and Timothy O’Tooles. The Bears will be playing the Philly Eagles, so expect the parking lot to be transformed into one big tailgating event. It's $10 or donate a winter coat for 1st Ward Ald. Manny Flores's annual Coats for Needy Families Drive. 3-7pm.

Peppermint Bar Opens for Seasonal Fun

Just in time for Friday's after-work shenanigans, the Doubletree Chicago Magnificent Mile transforms the lobby lounge into the Peppermint Bar.

A number of culinary students from the Illinois Institute of Art are behind the project. They're crafting an incredible (edible?!) gingerbread and hand-made peppermint candy facade that will stay up throughout the holiday season.

This should be an ideal spot to hang, plus since it's not on the Mag Mile, you shouldn't have to worry about hordes of shoppers and tourists getting in your way.

Just indulge in a number of seasonal cocktails made with hand-infused vodkas, including the Egg Nog Martini, Elf Iced Tea (with candy cane vodka!) and Spiced Poinsettia, which uses honey crisp cider.

The hotel's also home to the farm-centric MARKETHOUSE, helmed by Executive Chef Scott Walton.

Viagra Desserts Are Delicious, Trending Upward

Students training at a South American culinary school have been experimenting with this Viagra-based dessert. (Photo: AP)


Attention, restaurateurs:

Book your airline ticket now to Bogota, Colombia STAT.

Students training at a South American culinary school have been experimenting with a Viagra-based dessert, and according to Asylum, they created a "gelato-like combination of passion fruit and crushed blue pills that will have Ben & Jerry's panicking if a version makes it to North America."

Yeah, this is crazy all right, but it sure would make a ton of guys—and girls—happy!