*&^%$#@!@!?% Starbucks

I'm sorry, Phil Vettel, I love you like a brother, but I just cannot get down with your plea for saving Starbucks. Instead, here's what I recommend people do.

A Twist-er of fate

Let's just loosen up today with an offbeat event:

Happening Edgewater wine bar/restaurant Broadway Cellars pays homage to the famous cycling competition with 20 Wines 20 Dollars: Tour de France Wine Tasting. You'll get snacks paired with selections from regions and cities featured on the tour, including Burgundy, Bordeaux, Languedoc and the Rhone Valley. 7pm. $20.

Can you handle Tough Love Wednesdays, the weekly rotating party featuring a dope lineup of local deejays?! It's happening this time at Par-Lounge with Bear Who? and NewLife, who'll be thumping out a mixture of hip-hop, house, '80s, rock, R&B, Dancehall and Brazilian beats. 10pm-2am. No cover.

It's time for Twisted Keys, an outrageous Twister competition on the largest Twister board in the world. Held at Uncle Fatty's Rum Resort, the event happens 7-9pm, with a dueling piano party (with two pianists going to war with your fave songs) immediately following. And because you cannot do Twister sober, Uncle Fatty's is offering a bunch of drink specials, including $6 30 oz. fish bowls, $5 Malibu frozen drinks, $5 bombs and $12 Miller Light buckets. 7pm-midnight. No cover.

Guests just can't seem to get enough of Steve Chiappetti's Viand's Gourmet Burger Bar. Monday through Friday, between 4-6pm, all burgers are $2 at Viand. Guests choose from a number of fine Wisconsin cheeses as toppings.

Michael Jackson . . .

. . . will likely not be in the house when The Joynt and Lip Service Productions throw an ultra-private bash for his dad Joe Jackson's 80th birthday Thursday. But that's OK because if nothing else his kids will all be there in spirit as the deejay is guaranteed to drop old-school stuff from Janet, Michael and the Jackson Five all night. It would be absolutely bananas if that nutty LaToya decided to show her face.

UPDATE: Turns out Joe Jackson's in town taping his new reality series, "Meet Joe Jackson," which chronicles his quest to reunite his sons. It also follows him as he develops new artists for his Chicago-based company, Chi-Coast Entertainment, with local business partner Rick Neville. The party will definitely be taped as part of that new series.

One night only for 'One Night Stand'

John Huntington brings his "One Night Stand" touring rock 'n' roll party to Spybar tonight.


"Inked" star/creator John Huntington takes over Spybar tonight with his wildly popular One Night Stand touring rock 'n' roll party.

He'll spin rock in the hot new deejay booth, and will also accompany locally acclaimed Mario Ink as they airbrush on body paint to guests feeling inspired by the evening’s offbeat fête. Other kookiness going on includes bikes from Criminal Customs lining the red carpet and specialty Patrón cocktails. Party kicks off at 10pm. No cover.

In a New York state of mind . . .

New York's legendary Pastis restaurant in the Meatpacking District is similar to Chicago's Marche in the West Loop.


I love New York almost as much as I love Chicago.

So on my recent trip to the 212, I couldn't help but compare every cool spot I checked out to my favorites back home:

Dylan's Candy Bar, on the Upper East Side, is one sweet spot. You name it, they've got it, from tarty treats to erotic chocolate shower bars for you and a sig other. While Candyality in Lakeview doesn't offer a naughty nook, you'll find just about everything else you'll need in this cheery space.

Simply put, there's absolutely nothing in the world like Gold Bar, a funky little lounge in Little Italy. Thousands of miniature gold-sprayed skulls line the walls and an oversized painting of sexy blond conjoined twins stares down at the hipster and celebrity guests who dance on the sofas to old-school sounds. Just about anything goes down at Gold Bar, so Danny's Tavern and Sonotheque—known for cranking out their own brand of offbeat grooves—are the only things that come close.

HighBar (251 W. 48th St., 212-956-1300) in the Theater District has only been open for a few months, similar to Zed451 in River North. But the New York spot offers a Speakeasy vibe, as you have to snake down a sketchy narrow passageway and take a rickety elevator to get to the rooftop lounge. Upstairs, it's a burst of color, accents and beautiful people screaming over the music. Zed451's got that too, minus the accents.

Speaking of accents, at the Meatpacking District's famed Pastis, you'll hear them all at the sleek French eatery and lounge as financial guys and models belly up to the bar. Over at our Marche it's not quite the same scene, but it's still a classy crowd nevertheless.

Pop Burger's also in the Meatpacking District, but gets an entirely different demo, ranging from hip-hoppers to A-List stars for its White Castle-style burgers and fries. Deejays spin retro hip-hop and cool rock as the stylish set hangs out in the futuristic rear lounge that's guarded by a doorman. Lincoln Park's Minnies, with its 1950s soda fountain front, gets the kiddies during the day, but nighttime brings out the hungry, hungry bar-hoppers for miniature burgers, shakes, fries and more.

For a sexy, quiet dinner head to the tiny and very Euro Upstairs at Bouley in TriBeCa for wallet-friendly entrees of steak frites and sushi. You can't get reservations there like on the upper level of Le Colonial, but the dim lighting, French-focused menu and sensuous sounds are certainly interchangeable.

The Bristol set to open in Bucktown

Former Tru sous chef Chris Pandel created something called an ELT (broiled eel with lettuce, tomato and spicy aïoli) for the menu at The Bristol, set to open Sept. 9 in Bucktown.

His roasted organic chicken with cornbread stuffing and a grilled flat-iron steak with blue cheese ravioli should also be a hit on this rustic Midwestern menu with Mediterranean roots. Other offerings will include brunch, bar snacks (we want the Monkey bread with dill and sea salt!), and a rotating chalkboard menu featuring salumi and charcuterie.

Exclusive: And the name is . . . The Publican!

Paul Kahan and Donnie Madia are part of the team behind new beer-focused eatery The Publican, set to open on Aug. 18. (Photo: Michael Stryder)


Dynamic dining duo Donnie Madia and Paul Kahan first took food on a stylish new adventure more than 10 years ago with Blackbird. Then came the upscale "peasant food" place paired with wines called avec. But they didn't stop there: Next up was their cool, music-focused lounge Sonotheque—spearheaded by offbeat music maestro Joe Bryl—and 2007's sensational The Violet Hour, where guests indulge in hand-crafted cocktails without the annoyance of buzzing cell phones.

And while all of these ventures have been super successful, none have been as full of drama as their beer-focused, Warehouse District project that's gone on for months without a name. The concept, chef de cuisine (Brian Huston) and location have been in place since last year, so what's up?!

Did owners Paul Kahan, Donnie Madia, Eduard Seitan and Terry Alexander withhold that name to create suspense or did they simply just did not have one? Just this week, the guys got together and decided to anoint it The Publican, which is scheduled to open on Aug. 18. So there you have it!

BBQs, blind tastings and a block party

"Top Chef" winner Stephanie Izard is one of more than 50 chefs set to grill at the annual "Chefs' Summer BBQ Festival" on Thursday.


Get outside this weekend for a taste of barbecue, a block party, live music and more:

THURSDAY

The annual Chefs' Summer BBQ Festival, taking place at Green City Market, spotlights the city's culinary kings and queens. Headlining this year's event is "Top Chef" winner Stephanie Izard, who's working on opening her second restaurant in 2009. Participants include Christophe David (NoMI), Heather Terhune (Atwood Cafe), Kendal Duque (Sepia), Rick Bayless (Frontera Grill/Topolobampo), Paul Fehribach (Big Jones), Paul Kahan (Blackbird) and Koren Grieveson (Avec). You'll get to chug Goose Island beer and root beer, as well as sip sangria and wines from August Hill Winery as you nod your head to live music. All contributions support Green City Market. 6-8pm. $50 in advance; $60 at gate; an additional $100 gets you a reserved table, linens and 10 chairs.

Lip Service Productions hosts Rumba with the Stars—even though no celebrities will be in attendance. It still sounds like a swell party, with lively Latin beats from Rumba Orchestra and Chicago Samba Band. And for those looking to put a little kick in their dancing steps, get there early for complimentary salsa and samba lessons. Event happens at Rumba from 7:30pm-2am. No cover.

Today's the perfect day for Party in the Park, occurring every Thursday on the outdoor patio at Park Grill in Millennium Park. 101.9FM THE MIX hosts the free summer concert series right after work. Beckon Q plays at 4pm, followed by Alternate Routes at 5:30. Free.

It's time to celebrate Akira's sixth anniversary with a party at all stores in Bucktown (1814-1920 W. North Ave.). The fashionable, cutting-edge boutiques should attract all the hip-stars as each location transforms into an elaborate Carnivale setting. Deejays perform, Carnivale-inspired pageantry, specialty summer cocktails and more for those attending. Also, 10 percent of all sales tonight benefit Chicago Gateway Green. And chow down on munchies from Hugo's Frog Bar, Lux Bar and Gene & Georgetti. After-party happens at Chaise Lounge. 7-10pm. $10 donation.

And celebrity fave DJ Kiss—who's played for the likes of Puff Daddy, Gordon Ramsay and Lenny Kravitz—hits Sax Hotel's Crimson Lounge for its first-year anniversary party. Also, dancers from Belmont Burlesque perform and speakeasy-inspired cocktails will be served. 10pm-2am. No cover.



Super star DJ Kiss rocks Crimson Lounge for its first-year anniversary party on Thursday. (Photo: DJ Kiss)


FRIDAY

"The Dark Knight" fans can go batty over this Batman-inspired event taking place at Chi Bar in the Sheraton Chicago Hotel & Towers. Get ready for "Batman" trivia, karaoke and specialty martinis like The Joker or The Knight. Guests will also compete for a chance to win various prizes all night. 9:30pm-12:30am. Free.

SATURDAY

A Tribe Called Quest frontman Q-Tip serves as special guest MC for the Pink Panty Party (huh?!). The so-called infamous event started in LA and Chicago, and now they're bringing it here. Happening at Victor Hotel, and the first 200 female guests ordering from the special P.I.N.K. Vodka menu receive a complimentary P.I.N.K. Vodka panty and glow cup. Deejays Funky Couture and Mark Fullaflavor spin. 9pm-3am (9-10pm is the VIP P.I.N.K. Vodka cocktail reception). $20 before 11pm.

The Silver Room hosts its sixth-annual Sound System Block Party: We Are One, an interactive outdoor event showcasing local visual and performance arts. During this 10-hour extravaganza, look for performances by the likes of Brickheadz, Joe Bryl, Danny Live Wire, Dark Wave Disco, DJ Demchuk, Dirty MF and the Smoking Sexsions, Hey Champ DJs, Hollywood Holt, Jokes and Notes comedians, Julius the Mad Thinker and Elizabeth Weber. Block party happens noon-10pm, immediately followed by the after party featuring Fertile Ground at Double Door. No cover.

Speaking of after parties, Silver Cloud throws two this weekend for the Pitchfork Music Festival. Tickets for that thing are sold out, but tonight and Sunday you'll get the chance to win CDs from Vampire Weekend, Bon Iver, Cut Copy, The Hold Steady and Animal Collective. Each $6 Effen vodka cocktail comes with a raffle ticket. Two signed CDs from Vampire Weekend and Bon Iver will also be raffled off. 10pm-2am. Free.

SUNDAY

We heard the last one was a freaking blast. So if you think you've got skills on "the pole," then head to Flirty Girl Fitness for a class, followed by brunch at Ina’s. They're offering two sessions at 10:30am and 11:30, with classes happening on the outdoor patio (weather permitting), so make reservations now. $25 for drop-in classes.

Test your wine knowledge every Sunday at Eno at InterContinental Chicago. Order a flight at the sleek wine lounge and ask for the Blind Tasting. Wine identities are concealed, leaving guests to guess in categories such as region and varietal. Those scoring high enough can also score a discount of $5.05 off a full-priced wine flight. Try to get seats in the tony outdoor patio right off the Mag Mile.